DuplicationI was sitting in a room in a chair at the opposite end of the hallway from the living room, with the door wide open enough that I could see all the way down it and into the doorway of multiple rooms in the hallway, including my bedroom. I was thinking of the things I've done and then of the things I haven't done when I remembered that among the latter was "take my pills." I was in a state of lethargic apathy, which I fortunately cared enough to remember, when I saw someone walking across the hallway into my bedroom, which had the door open at the time, along with all the other rooms I could see the doorways of. The person looked familiar and I thought they were one of my parents, although I didn't care which at the time. Then, in my peripheral vision, I saw the person and they looked quite a bit like myself, and I wondered who they were but didn't care enough to ask. They walked down the hallway and left the room. I saw my mother at the end of the hallway. Myself had a panic attack, whDuplication by ~SpacelanderRyo
FixationsSometimes, somewhere, someone is doing something. It is generally unimportant to the world what this something is. Someone somewhere, and not necessarily the same place, sees a fence constructed. Someone somewhere finds it somewhat important to be somewhere, a somewhere which they intend to be the preferred somewhere rather than the unpreferred somewhere. The preferred somewhere is full of preferred someones doing preferred somethingsnot that the preferred somewhere only has preferred someones doing preferred somethings, or even the unpreferred somewhere only has unpreferred someones doing unpreferred somethings. The someone simply prefers to internalize the preferred somethings of the preferred somewhere somewhat more than they prefer to internalize the unpreferred somethings of the unpreferred somewhere, primarily because they have already begun to internalize the preferred somethings of the preferred somewhere and therefore consider oneself, to some extent, a preferred somethiFixations by ~SpacelanderRyo
EscapismA major type of escapism is mental escapism, in which an individual thinks of the past in order to avoid the present.Escapism by ~SpacelanderRyo
I often recall my own torture.
Another SinIs my existence the only sin, or is all existence? I thought.Another Sin by ~SpacelanderRyo
All existence is, of course, because everything harms something somehow.
Then I think, but I chose to exist. Then I think, I did not get to choose. Then I think, it does not matter if I did or not.
Something in my nature caused me to exist rather than not to exist. And this makes my nature, regardless of my possibly transient state of existing or non-existing, a sin.